Recently, I remembered sitting around at a round table with other leaders from parishes having a delightfully tingly conversation. We were discussing topics related to how we can change as a Church moving forward. We were specifically thinking of creating more intentional spaces of hospitality and belonging. I was eating a delicious turkey sandwich (and admittedly a bit distracted) when I heard the lady with the gorgeous blue eyes and super funky black glasses say: 


“I have been at my parish for four years and only now am I meeting people. I could count on one hand people that I know by name”. 


Suddenly, my turkey sandwich did not seem so delicious.


That is a sad fact and I feel, very unfortunately, a universal experience in some of our parishes. And I am wondering…why might lack of belonging and hospitality happen and is this worth changing? 


Years ago, our parish priest had this conviction: Church is to be home. It is to be a place of belonging and safety. Church can be someone’s third-place. 


I have heard of this concept, ‘third-place’,  but did not think anything of it until I researched and read about it more intentionally.  


Within my research, I found a commentary by the Brookings Institution, a non-profit organization in Washington, DC. The article stated that there is this phenomenon of first, second and third places; environments where humans spend the majority of their time. I was reading a commentary. The first and second places are often home and work, while the third is described as places of interaction with an encouragement of public relaxation. There is a lightness in these third places, a place free from expectations of productivity; no one is forcing you to show up. 


Here is the question, perhaps a really fantastic question as we enter into the time of now: As we are moving out of Christendom, where the rhythm of Christian living is normal, there might be a shift in the way we do Church; the way we welcome, invite and gather in community together.  What if our parishes and churches start to become popular third places?


What would a community like that look like, with genuine relationships full of joy and sorrow? How would we get there? This can feel really hard. I know that I also was overwhelmed with this idea in the past. What if no one is on board? 


St. Patrick’s Maple Ridge is a small church but is growing in numbers daily. My pastor, almost every Sunday, before he starts his homily invites the people standing in the back to come into the church. Fr. Matthew often says something like, “Come in and sit. My dear people, squeeze in so we can let our other people in. I want them to know this is their home too”.  With this statement, I believe that Fr. Matthew is accomplishing two things. That providing a welcoming environment is of utmost importance, even during Mass. And second, by asking our people in the pews to squeeze in, we are welcoming those literally not in the pews to be with us. We are saying that this is a place of belonging for everyone. 


I often think this may have started first as a mindset shift in Fr. Matthew's brain. The mindset shift was that Church can become like a familial home; where we break bread together, listen to stories together, dance together and do life together, as opposed to simply doing Mass or other spiritual traditions together.


I wonder what it would be like to know the people in and outside the pews by name. The challenge is to mindfully come to Mass to celebrate with those you know, but also to be on the lookout for new people. Have we ever seen them before? Do we know their names? Can we ask them? Perhaps we can dish a compliment out before we ask for their names. I know sometimes that small gesture opens the person up to being a bit more receptive to a stranger. And if we are nervous, I feel that is totally normal. It can be a bold and courageous move to talk to a stranger. 


The next idea is to intentionally create ways where people can’t help but feel comfortable. Can there be an option to set up a team to greet people as they walk into Church on Sundays? Is there a possibility to welcome new families with young children into the Church and acknowledge that we, as a parish, do not mind the little noises that happen sometimes? And perhaps, your parish can create a hospitality team where the goal is to welcome people in a real heavenly way that makes people want to come again and again. 


The second idea, if you can, is to get yourself plugged into the parish happenings so that you can invite, invite, invite! Does your parish have a rosary group? Perhaps Alpha is starting and running? Maybe there is a pub night with the young adults that is happening on Friday night. When we know what is happening in our parishes, inviting others to participate can be something fun to do on a weekend night.


However, the best strategy of them all: ask the Holy Spirit and inquire about what He may be up to. What might he be asking of you and your parish? 


Recommend: https://weareproclaim.com/podcast/105