I was raised in a practicing Catholic family.  In 2015, I was asked if I was interested to sign up for Faith Studies, and I was hesitant: I thought to myself, what could I possibly learn when my Dad taught me the holiness of Sacraments? Who often said to me, “you do not go to Church for the Priest or people; you go to Church for Christ.

Attending Mass, Bible reading, the rosary, and service was part of my growing up. Debates and discussions were always welcomed.  

So why did I sign up? Why did I see this as God’s invitation?  

Though I had a strong faith formation, I had been struggling to articulate my relationship with Jesus and would shy away as soon as a conversation became uncomfortable. I was not prepared to answer the tough questions like, why do bad things happen to good people? If Jesus is merciful, then why does He not take away our pain?

In 2012, our son and only child was in a car accident during his last year in High School. He asked me those tough questions—he was angry, and I felt like I had failed him because I did not have the confidence to articulate to trust in God’s holy plan, or how to forgive and look at suffering not as a punishment.  Our son survived and healed physically, but spiritually he was fractured.  

When Faith Studies became an opportunity to learn and understand those tough questions, I knew I had to sign up. So In 2015, my husband and I signed up.

What I observed in myself was that self-reflection challenged me to be honest and recognize the barriers that were keeping me from growing my relationship with Jesus. 

I came up against my Catholic Identity. I am pro-life, and so are some non-Catholics. I care about the environment, I volunteer, I am generous with my time, and so do non-Catholics. So what’s unique about being Catholic? The answer is Jesus.

My next question was, how do I share what I've learned? Before Faith Studies I was not brave enough to articulate the truth about Jesus. But, after, I was much braver. 

You see for a long time my relationship with Jesus had been private, not public, and it is still a work in progress. Eventually, those tough questions were put to the test in my own life.

In September 2018, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 lung cancer. My first reaction was, of course, disbelief.

After all, I never smoked in my life. I don’t consume alcohol. I led a pretty active life. When I had to share this news with our son via video call, I called on Jesus for the right words. I did cry but there was no fear, instead—interior peace and trust. 

So, what made me trust in Jesus’s promises and protection? Through Faith Studies, I was reminded I need not fear life’s difficulties. Jesus was telling me “Child, you have another opportunity to change for the better.” The reality is I’m going to die—when? I don’t know but the choices I make right now will make a difference in my healing journey.

When you do Faith Studies, it's revisiting our relationship with Jesus, reading Holy Scriptures, mediating and most importantly, it’s bringing God’s Holy Presence in our daily lives. It was a beautiful self-discovery of where I was, am, and where God is leading me. 

In October 2020, my CT scan showed that the cancer may have spread into my right lung. Meanwhile, my nephew and God-child was in the emergency—he has multiple health issues including a heart working at 50%. During the time, I was also leading my Faith Study group and shared my nephew’s illness and the chance that the cancer could be spreading. My group wanted to know how I could be spiritually strong and faithful. I answered, “Though my external environment was out of control within me I was blessed with an interior peace and no fear.”

I can say, that so much of this came from how I grew during Faith Studies. It is “spiritual” development; it will change our preconceived ideas of what it means to be Catholic and what is our relationship with Jesus. It will better equip us with “spiritual tools” which we can apply in every high and low of life.

I, like many, are going through many questions with the current news in our Holy Catholic Church. In this crisis, I see another personal invitation to walk the journey in faith, trusting God’s holy plan, and out of this unimaginable pain, we can grow in holiness and faith. So I invite you to rediscover your faith journey, ask the tough questions, and be part of the healing process. Revisit your relationship with Jesus, read Holy Scriptures, meditate and most importantly, bring God’s Holy Presence into our daily lives.